As I was scrolling through old Instagram pics reminiscing about the past…I thought about the fact that I haven’t posted on my blog for almost a year. I’ve been in a writers block slump and quite honestly ended up getting too comfortable staying there. But as I traveled down memories lane looking at those old pics and post…I said to myself…the only way out of a writers block is to start writing. So writing I have begun and as it is with anything you placed aside for some time starting back is always the most difficult. But if you continue to push through with each passing day it gets better. This my friends is the journey and process to new discoveries of self, transformation and growth.
The beauty in love is not spotless
It’s not white and clean
There’s no perfect picture
Beautiful love is messy and rough
It’s durable from the trials and stuff
It’s hidden way deep and requires hard labor
Like digging for a pearl or searching for a rare diamond
Beautiful love comes from red
This morning I spent time reflecting on the many blessings in my life. This same time last year my family of five and a dog…lived in a small two bedroom basement apartment that had an awful smell I could never get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Those years spent in what I called our “dungeon” apartment taught me many life lessons and provided me with such tremendous growth. Those of you who have followed my blog over the years have been privy to those lessons I’ve learned. Although there were many difficult trying times spent in that apartment, I know it was needed. That apartment represented a planted deep in the soil period in my life. During that time my Creator watered and nurtured me as He took me through the most life changing moments of spiritual growth, emotional healing and liberation from what others think or say about me. He taught me how to truly walk confidently, boldly and authentically in my truth. I experienced true freedom of living.
Though that stage in my life has past now and my family and I are now blessed to live in a spacious home where we can spread out…I’ll never forget that basement apartment and thankful for the many lessons learned while living there.
A simple little Disney song that’s packed with a powerful message…
If only we were listening….
I like order and structure. I like to group things into boxes so that I can process them. I was pondering on this trait of mine one morning in my worship when my Creator provided me with an epiphany. The best piece of wisdom I received from Him that morning. I learned that when you fully take hold of a true abundant life there are no boxes. A life lived under the Creator’s idea for you is a life of authenticity and truth of self. This kind of life has NO LIMITS as to what you can do!
This made me think about God’s words in John 10:10…
God wants me to be the best me! So many of us go through life never truly experiencing the best them. Some haven’t even discovered their true self. They are living a life that has been defined by someone else. I too once lived a half full life. And when I lived that half full life I always felt like there had to be more to life than this. Then and only then when I began to explore these questions with my Creator did I begin to learn and fully grasped what my Creator wants for me. He wants me to live a life with no boundaries of what He can and will do through me. He wants me to live John 10:10!
I encourage you to spend time learning about you. Do not shy away from your true self. Explore you and discover your John 10:10.
Life is peculiar at times. It can seem the ones who are given the biggest dreams appear to have the worst obstacles and setbacks. Sometimes these obstacles make it impossible to even fathom the possibility of achieving your dreams. Some of the brightest most sincere kind hearted people I know seem like they have been dealt a bad stack of cards. Often times their lives are drenched with injustices, poverty and lack of opportunities. This can crush the spirit and cause self-doubt, discouragement, depression and sometimes anger. This crushed spirit begins to feed the mind continuous negative thoughts that cause a vicious cycle of unhealthy choices. Choosing poor relationships, lack of self-care and some may turn to the fast past night life, all these things masquerades the hurt of broken dreams.
I am a person who believes in God. I also believe that He is a very personal God who welcomes dialogue even uncomfortable topics that question Him. I asked Him one day about these “Black Birds” people who seem to be given an unfair shot at life. His response amazed me He said, “I placed the most beautiful minds and spirits inside of them. They are the ones with purpose far bigger than they can imagine. They have the gift of intuition coupled with feelings of compassion to change the world. They have been gifted with the ability to commune with me and hear me speak in their life.” He continued to say, “There is so much more but you wouldn’t be able to comprehend it all. The complexity of this world is beyond your understanding. There is a limit to what you are capable of grasping.”
But, He summed it up with these words, “The ones with the biggest challenges, setbacks and hardships are the ones who hold the greatest impact. They carry within them a fight and persistent, perseverance and tenacity of hope. Their life is not one of punishment for the beautiful jewels are the ones that have been refined through the fire. I love and care for them dearly my presence is always near even when it’s hard to see. I gave my Son Jesus this same cross to bear when He walked this earth…A life of poverty and hardship, just as His reward was great so shall yours be also. You are not the forgotten you’re my greatest testimony of over comers. It’s your stories that encourage, empower and inspire others. It’s your stories that teach us love. It’s your stories that plant seeds in others and makes the gardens of life grow.”
I’m budding and so alive
On my last birthday I turned 5
My mamma says your growing so fast
Being mamma’s baby has already past
Middle school years now those bring tears
Trying to figure out me and set myself free
Before I realized high school came
And ever since nothing’s been the same
I feel freedom and liberty
Flying high being me
It’s senior year graduation is near
Can’t wait for college it’s my freshman year
I’m living my dreams with no fears
So much to look forward to
So much I want to do
Welcome world here I come
Just got my first job
Now married with kids
Can’t believe how fast time fly’s
My granddaughter just turned 5
She says nana why you so slow
I tell her baby it’s to keep my glow
No more need for rushing to and fro
I already know what’s at the end of this show
I appreciate sunrises and sunsets
Never take for granted these moments
Now well in my advance years
Here’s the wisdom that I’ve learned
There’s a time and season for everything
This is what the life cycle means to me