Encouragement, Healing, Humanity, Inspiration, life

When Pain Wakes You Up

I awaken the other day in physical pain and exhausted from another sleepless night due to experiencing a bad flare up with my illness (interstitial cystitis). I asked myself what do you do when you wake in pain? We tend to think of morning rising as a new day, recharged, rebooted to face another day. But what do you do when that morning rising brings nothing mentioned above? When your morning rising is met with discouragement, hurt, shame, guilt, fear, and the list can go on and on. 

Pain shows no favoritism and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some wake in emotional pain from experiencing trauma, abuse, abandonment, financial struggles or the loss of a love one. While others may wake in spiritual pain feeling a sense of emptiness, lack of purpose, or meaning and value to their existence. At the same time many wake in physical pain from a chronic illness, battling a disease, or just the physical strain of wear and tear on your body from a day’s work. 

I think there are many people around this world waking in pain. Who wake and muster up what little strength they can to make it through another trying day. And they find themselves in this cycle of hoping each morning rising will bring a different outcome but with no avail their break of dawn is met with the same pain. 

I have come to learn in life that pain is inevitable. But I believe pain is not in vain. Our pain is not wasted washed up segments of our lives.  Our pain stories have the power to  encourage, inspire and bring healing to the soul.  It is through the sharing of our pain we begin to see morning rising in a New Light! 

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Empowerment, Encouragement, Healing, Inspiration, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellness

When A Mother’s Love is Unhealthy 

 

I must be honest and say I’ve been going back and forth on rather I should write a blog piece about this sensitive subject. It’s been seven months since I’ve taken the courage to come out of the F.O.G ( Fear, Obligation, & Guilt) and seek the help I needed to emotionally, mentally, and spiritually heal from my ordeal of emotional abuse from my mother. Although I’ve contemplated about sharing my journey of hope and healing I am convinced that I am not alone with what I experienced and by having the courage to speak the truth about my story may some how help other women through encouragement and empowerment and reminding that woman/or women they are not alone.  

  
I have learned through my experience that the whole idealization of what a mother represents makes it extremely difficult for others to understand when you as the daughter makes the decision to place distance between the two of you. This decision erupts such strong emotions and opinions from others concerning your choice. It reminds me of what you experience when your pregnant it seems during those nine months of carrying the child people feel they can impart any and every piece of their mind concerning your pregnancy. But just like the example of the pregnancy, although their maybe commonalities, it’s still your unique journey. This same principle applies to mother and daughter relationships. Although it is hard to fathom this reality but the hard core truth is that not all mothers are capable to provide healthy love to their daughters.  

  
Emotional abuse is so psychological it is hidden deep within the fabric of the mother and daughter dynamic that it’s usually invisible to the naked eye. Which makes another reason why when you as the daughter finally have the courage to take your stand most people can not understand your decision. Emotional abuse doesn’t show visible signs of harm. But the harm is done internally to your mind and spirit; Your sense of self-worth, identity, and self-esteem is so severely damage. These damages done internally externalize themselves in many different forms throughout the daughters life. I will speak candid about my journey and share that my damage externalize through choosing bad relationships, not having any sense of direction or identity in my life, depression and anxiety, having no value to myself so putting everyone else before my needs, anger, and poor lifestyle choices. From the outside looking in everything seems fine but on the inside you the daughter are slowly dying. I think the quote from one of my favorite movies, Beyond the Lights, says it best: “It’s like I’m suffocating in the middle of the street and no one can see me dying,”. 

  
Through doing the hard work of seeking counseling, doing the homework, processing the feelings and emotions, forgiving my mother, forgiving myself, unpacking the many layers of baggage I was carrying and most importantly allowing Gods love to warm my inner spirit I began the healing process. At this point in my life I feel such a freedom I’ve never experienced before. My Creator has revealed during those hard difficult times of my life He was actually present gently wrapping me in His love. He has changed my story from shame and guilt to one of victory, transformation, liberation and unconditional love.  

 I will end this blog piece with saying it is my hopes by me sharing my story it may inspire, empower, and encourage any woman/women who may be experiencing the same journey that I’ve been through. If you don’t get anything else from this message please remember these last words: YOU ARE VALUE, YOUR VOICE MATTERS, YOU SERVE PURPOSE, YOU ARE LOVED! 


Resources for Healing 

http://emergingfrombroken.com/ 

The Invisible Scar

http://outofthefog.net/

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Empowerment, Encouragement, Inspiration, life, Motivation, self growth

My Storage is Empty

old-chinese-proverb-quote-the-usefulness-of-a-cup-is-in-its-emptiness

I believe everyone has a closet or a room in their house filled with junk.  You know the things that have been collected along the way that once seemed so important are now wasting away in a room or closet collecting dust.  Whenever we even think of clearing out all the stuff it becomes overwhelming so we push the junk back in and close the door.

Sometimes in life the storage of our mind is filled to the brim with past mistakes, past hurts, shattered dreams, lost love, anger, shame, guilt and everything else in between.  Our storage is so full it leaves no room for the wonderful things that were originally planned for us. When our storage is empty there’s room for peace, joy, hope, unconditional love, forgiveness and the freedom to live purpose.

When we begin the process of cleaning out the clutter, our path in life becomes clearer.  There are many different ideas on how to begin and complete the process of cleaning “Our Storage”.  I have tried many of the ideas but the one suggested has worked the best for me.

I practice these 3 simple steps everyday in my life to ensure an empty storage.

  1. Release

Every day in the morning and the evening I release.  I release should of’s, could of’s, and would of’s.  I release any anger or frustration that has occurred.  I release perfectionism and allow space for mistakes and setbacks.  I release.

  1. Embrace

I choose to embrace everything that makes me flaws and all.   I chose to embrace the good and bad of love ones. I choose to embrace the serenity prayer…

“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next…Amen”

  1. Love

I have come to the realization that love has miraculous power.   Love has the power to change lives, encourage the hurting, motivate the weak, heal the brokenhearted, warm the unforgiving spirit and love the unlovable.  Love has power!  Love is a decision based on principle not a feeling.  I’ve chosen to love unconditionally and non-judgmentally.  I’ve tried it the other way around where in my spirit I harbored resentment towards some and attempted to love others…it just didn’t work for me I did not feel balance or whole.  But with my new perspective and practice of love I have experienced a tremendous amount of peace and joy.

Quotefancy-2007-3840x2160

Are you ready to clear your storage?

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Empowerment, Encouragement, life, self growth

Giants

Life has handed me some tough battles to face…most recently dealing with my health issues and recovering from yet another surgery…this writing piece was inspired by my determination to not give up or give in to self-pity.  My Creator has provided me with a tremendous amount of peace in my spirit that “Giants do come but Giants do fall”…I hope this writing encourages you on your life journey….

giants life

We all have battles we face.  Some are minor and don’t require much of our strength while others can be major…So major that the process in order to conquer those giants requires faith. Faith is beyond your senses and reason.  I believe this type of faith is only possible when you are connected to a Higher Power for me this Higher Power is my Creator; I believe there are some giants that require supernatural power. Whatever giants you are facing in your life whatever they maybe don’t give up press forward and stand your ground determined in your spirit to trust beyond reason and then watch those giants fall one by one. We are all destine to live out purpose greater than “get rich or die tying” success in life is more than a pay check, house size, income bracket and etc.  What life is really about is facing giants and overcoming which in return empowers others by the testimony of your life.

giants

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Encouragement, life, poetry

Captive

captive

This poem was inspired by recent unexpected health issues that have cause me to slow down tremendously.  During this time I have learned patience and peace of living with the unknown.  As I read over my poem I began to think how the message can apply to life in general.  We all have burdens that make us feel captive.   We live in such treacherous times nothing on this earth is guaranteed.  My hope and sanity is within a Higher Power.  My living hope is in spreading, fighting and standing up for His love that’s what keeps me going.

Captive

I feel trapped inside this cage

My body is in rage

Held hostage to this pain

I’m going insane

Trying to keep my spirits up

Reminding myself don’t give up

For these prison walls are caving in

I refuse to let this be the end

I’m suffocating I want out

Lord do you hear me crying out

Save me from this get me out

I’m on my knees

Hear my prayer please

You’ve never failed me yet

I won’t let my mind forget

Your promises are real

And your presence is near

My thoughts are changing

And my feelings too

I say to myself don’t let this illness get the best of you

Although my circumstances are still the same

My freedom begins before things change

Freedom of my mind

The perspective I choose

Physically I’m still not able to be active

But mentally I’m no longer captive

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self growth, Wellness

Curve Ball

Managing-the-Curveballs-

Life can be smoothly moving along and then “it” happens.  We all have different “it’s” that happen on our journey.  Those curve balls that catch us off guard and we have to regroup.  Whatever your “it” maybe these 3 following tips can help you ride the wave and safely return to the shore.

Forgo the Feelings 

It is at our curve ball moments in life when management of our emotions is crucial. If our emotions are not controlled during this time we can very well alter our destinies.  There was a story about two different men. Both were successful bankers but during the 2008 market crash ended up losing a tremendous amount of money. The first man “forwent the feelings” he acknowledged his feelings of fear, anxiety and depression.  But at the same time went through the process of “willing in his heart” that the feelings were temporary and will past. He daily reminded himself during this difficult time that those dark feelings he carried and the temptations to indulge in activities to comfort those feelings would be short-term gratification. Meanwhile, the other man, acted on every emotion he experienced.  He was not able to “forgo the feelings” and therefore ended up committing suicide. Now to some these two stories may sound extreme but the moral of the lesson still applies. When life gets tough, and believe me it will, it is at these difficult times that we must find healthy ways to process through our thoughts and feelings so that our actions lead us to safe shores not drifting on a current into the sea.

life curveballs

 Stay Connected 

We tend to isolate ourselves during hard times. We usually put distance between the ones who care the most. Although it may be challenging we must purpose in our heart to “stay connected”.  Stay connected even if it’s just a text once a week. If you are in a committed relationship block out time to talk with your partner about what’s going on allow the two of you to grow closer together through the trial not apart. Stay connected spiritually through prayer and meditation. Don’t be afraid of honesty with your Creator expressing your anger, fears and worries about the future.

Forecast the Future 

This by far has carried me through all the curve balls in my life. Forecasting the future has helped me to maintain hope of Gods purpose for me. When life throws unexpected punches that seem as if I’m down for the count it’s at these moments that I practice the art of “forecast the future”.  I will in my heart to look beyond my current circumstances and see the future God promise to me. I will in my heart to visually see the finish line. Forecasting the future is not fortune telling, neither is it denying your present situation, it’s simply examining the patterns of life and determining the future outcome from them. What I know about the patterns of life is this, my Creator has been faithful and has kept every promise He has made to me. I know that storms don’t last forever and sunny days are always ahead. I’ve learned that whether I have plenty or little I’m still okay. And finally I’ve learned that seasons do change.

moving forward

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