As I was scrolling through old Instagram pics reminiscing about the past…I thought about the fact that I haven’t posted on my blog for almost a year. I’ve been in a writers block slump and quite honestly ended up getting too comfortable staying there. But as I traveled down memories lane looking at those old pics and post…I said to myself…the only way out of a writers block is to start writing. So writing I have begun and as it is with anything you placed aside for some time starting back is always the most difficult. But if you continue to push through with each passing day it gets better. This my friends is the journey and process to new discoveries of self, transformation and growth.
I awaken the other day in physical pain and exhausted from another sleepless night due to experiencing a bad flare up with my illness (interstitial cystitis). I asked myself what do you do when you wake in pain? We tend to think of morning rising as a new day, recharged, rebooted to face another day. But what do you do when that morning rising brings nothing mentioned above? When your morning rising is met with discouragement, hurt, shame, guilt, fear, and the list can go on and on.
Pain shows no favoritism and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some wake in emotional pain from experiencing trauma, abuse, abandonment, financial struggles or the loss of a love one. While others may wake in spiritual pain feeling a sense of emptiness, lack of purpose, or meaning and value to their existence. At the same time many wake in physical pain from a chronic illness, battling a disease, or just the physical strain of wear and tear on your body from a day’s work.
I think there are many people around this world waking in pain. Who wake and muster up what little strength they can to make it through another trying day. And they find themselves in this cycle of hoping each morning rising will bring a different outcome but with no avail their break of dawn is met with the same pain.
I have come to learn in life that pain is inevitable. But I believe pain is not in vain. Our pain is not wasted washed up segments of our lives. Our pain stories have the power to encourage, inspire and bring healing to the soul. It is through the sharing of our pain we begin to see morning rising in a New Light!
This morning I spent time reflecting on the many blessings in my life. This same time last year my family of five and a dog…lived in a small two bedroom basement apartment that had an awful smell I could never get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Those years spent in what I called our “dungeon” apartment taught me many life lessons and provided me with such tremendous growth. Those of you who have followed my blog over the years have been privy to those lessons I’ve learned. Although there were many difficult trying times spent in that apartment, I know it was needed. That apartment represented a planted deep in the soil period in my life. During that time my Creator watered and nurtured me as He took me through the most life changing moments of spiritual growth, emotional healing and liberation from what others think or say about me. He taught me how to truly walk confidently, boldly and authentically in my truth. I experienced true freedom of living.
Though that stage in my life has past now and my family and I are now blessed to live in a spacious home where we can spread out…I’ll never forget that basement apartment and thankful for the many lessons learned while living there.
This song was on my heart…someone today needs to be reminded that through life’s ups and downs, trials and tribulations, pains and sorrows, that your NEVER alone…so be encouraged my friends
On Sunday’s my family and I try to make sure we jump start the beginning of the week with an high intensity workout. This particular morning my husband and I started early before our middle son joined us. Our middle son was late coming out and by the time he joined us we had already completed our first lap around the neighborhood. When we finished our laps we clapped it up and was about to head inside when my hubby said “no son you have one more lap to go” the look on my son’s face said it all. As he reluctantly began his truck around the neighborhood once more as his mother I felt compassion for him, I mean we were in the middle of the high noon sun in blazing hot Alabama… So as any compassionate mother would do I joined him in his last lap. Now we didn’t walk side by side he was further ahead of me but I walked behind him at a distance. As I watched him in front of me I began to think about how in life sometimes we can think we are at the end of a long hard journey only to discover there’s one more lap. Those surprisingly last laps come in all different forms, another final paper is due when you thought you were done with all the assignments in the class, another 5lbs needed to lose when you stepped onto the scale and you thought you had reached your goal weight, another bill payment, another lost loved one, another fight with your spouse, another lost job, another and another. Those last laps can either break us or mold us. I also thought about how we are not alone in those last laps, just as I walked behind my son for added support, we too have someone who walks with us, Our Creator, is always near. As my son and I made it to the top of the hill, which by the way is the hardest part of the lap, my husband was waiting there in the car so that our son could have his weekly driving lessons, which if you know anything about a teenager, is one of the most exciting things for them to do. When I saw my husband in the car waiting for him I began to smile. I thought to myself at the end of every hard journey there’s always a pleasant surprise that made it all worth while in the end. What’s at the end of your last lap? You can only find out if you take the journey….
Although I’m a vegan, I still love and eat soul food. Vegan soul food that is, there’s nothing better than a hearty plate of chicken fried tofu, vegan mac&cheese, collard greens, and vegan corn bread. It can be difficult at times and I find myself eating this comfort food more than I should. If I’m not intentional about monitoring what I’m eating and how much of it I’m eating my weight can slowly creep up on me.
It can be like that sometimes in life as well. We can get caught up in mindlessness living. Following our day to day daily routines of life which require minimal thinking. This type of living I call the “living dead spirit”. It’s a life I once lived and the only thing it brought me was a dissatisfied life with spurts here and there of temporary happiness.
This means everyday I wake I am focus on fulfilling my God given purpose and assignment. And encouraging and inspiring others to practice the same lifestyle. This way of living brings a joy and peace that this world can’t give or take away. When you become so driven and focus on living out the priceless value that’s placed on your life, what others say or do just doesn’t matter anymore. Your confidence rises because you know your purpose and main goal in life is on accomplishing that purposeful assignment.
When I speak of the word free I don’t mean in reference to free material things or free from work responsibilities. Although when those opportunities of free come along it can be great.
But today I’m talking about a different kind of free. The free that comes when you finally get to a place where the value and purpose of your life is no longer validated or defined by what others think or say. What do I mean by this? It means when you truly grasped your value and purpose you become unstoppable. Unstoppable and free to move forward with a confidence and boldness like never before. You become the best advocate for you, no longer allowing others to determine your course of life.
This type of free comes with a high price tag. It’s price was to high for any one on this earth to pay. But this rare kind of free has already been paid for by our Creator and is available to us if we so choose to grab hold of it. It’s an oxymoron but “to gain your life you must lose it first”. And this my friends is the stumbling block for most, and why the majority of us end up only experiencing fragments of free.
But I am here as a living testimony as one who has surrendered my life and given it back to the one who created it. I am an intelligent design and ONLY my Intelligent Designer knows the blueprints for my life. When I place my full trust in The One who created me I experience the phenomenon of rebirth. And it is at this place my friends that you are FREE. I encourage you over this weekend to spend some quiet reflective time contemplating if you also want to experience this amazing type of FREE.