As I was scrolling through old Instagram pics reminiscing about the past…I thought about the fact that I haven’t posted on my blog for almost a year. I’ve been in a writers block slump and quite honestly ended up getting too comfortable staying there. But as I traveled down memories lane looking at those old pics and post…I said to myself…the only way out of a writers block is to start writing. So writing I have begun and as it is with anything you placed aside for some time starting back is always the most difficult. But if you continue to push through with each passing day it gets better. This my friends is the journey and process to new discoveries of self, transformation and growth.
I awaken the other day in physical pain and exhausted from another sleepless night due to experiencing a bad flare up with my illness (interstitial cystitis). I asked myself what do you do when you wake in pain? We tend to think of morning rising as a new day, recharged, rebooted to face another day. But what do you do when that morning rising brings nothing mentioned above? When your morning rising is met with discouragement, hurt, shame, guilt, fear, and the list can go on and on.
Pain shows no favoritism and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Some wake in emotional pain from experiencing trauma, abuse, abandonment, financial struggles or the loss of a love one. While others may wake in spiritual pain feeling a sense of emptiness, lack of purpose, or meaning and value to their existence. At the same time many wake in physical pain from a chronic illness, battling a disease, or just the physical strain of wear and tear on your body from a day’s work.
I think there are many people around this world waking in pain. Who wake and muster up what little strength they can to make it through another trying day. And they find themselves in this cycle of hoping each morning rising will bring a different outcome but with no avail their break of dawn is met with the same pain.
I have come to learn in life that pain is inevitable. But I believe pain is not in vain. Our pain is not wasted washed up segments of our lives. Our pain stories have the power to encourage, inspire and bring healing to the soul. It is through the sharing of our pain we begin to see morning rising in a New Light!
The beauty in love is not spotless
It’s not white and clean
There’s no perfect picture
Beautiful love is messy and rough
It’s durable from the trials and stuff
It’s hidden way deep and requires hard labor
Like digging for a pearl or searching for a rare diamond
Beautiful love comes from red
This morning I spent time reflecting on the many blessings in my life. This same time last year my family of five and a dog…lived in a small two bedroom basement apartment that had an awful smell I could never get rid of no matter how hard I tried. Those years spent in what I called our “dungeon” apartment taught me many life lessons and provided me with such tremendous growth. Those of you who have followed my blog over the years have been privy to those lessons I’ve learned. Although there were many difficult trying times spent in that apartment, I know it was needed. That apartment represented a planted deep in the soil period in my life. During that time my Creator watered and nurtured me as He took me through the most life changing moments of spiritual growth, emotional healing and liberation from what others think or say about me. He taught me how to truly walk confidently, boldly and authentically in my truth. I experienced true freedom of living.
Though that stage in my life has past now and my family and I are now blessed to live in a spacious home where we can spread out…I’ll never forget that basement apartment and thankful for the many lessons learned while living there.
This song was on my heart…someone today needs to be reminded that through life’s ups and downs, trials and tribulations, pains and sorrows, that your NEVER alone…so be encouraged my friends
On Sunday’s my family and I try to make sure we jump start the beginning of the week with an high intensity workout. This particular morning my husband and I started early before our middle son joined us. Our middle son was late coming out and by the time he joined us we had already completed our first lap around the neighborhood. When we finished our laps we clapped it up and was about to head inside when my hubby said “no son you have one more lap to go” the look on my son’s face said it all. As he reluctantly began his truck around the neighborhood once more as his mother I felt compassion for him, I mean we were in the middle of the high noon sun in blazing hot Alabama… So as any compassionate mother would do I joined him in his last lap. Now we didn’t walk side by side he was further ahead of me but I walked behind him at a distance. As I watched him in front of me I began to think about how in life sometimes we can think we are at the end of a long hard journey only to discover there’s one more lap. Those surprisingly last laps come in all different forms, another final paper is due when you thought you were done with all the assignments in the class, another 5lbs needed to lose when you stepped onto the scale and you thought you had reached your goal weight, another bill payment, another lost loved one, another fight with your spouse, another lost job, another and another. Those last laps can either break us or mold us. I also thought about how we are not alone in those last laps, just as I walked behind my son for added support, we too have someone who walks with us, Our Creator, is always near. As my son and I made it to the top of the hill, which by the way is the hardest part of the lap, my husband was waiting there in the car so that our son could have his weekly driving lessons, which if you know anything about a teenager, is one of the most exciting things for them to do. When I saw my husband in the car waiting for him I began to smile. I thought to myself at the end of every hard journey there’s always a pleasant surprise that made it all worth while in the end. What’s at the end of your last lap? You can only find out if you take the journey….