Empowerment, Encouragement, Healing, Inspiration, Motivation, Uncategorized, Wellness

When A Mother’s Love is Unhealthy 

 

I must be honest and say I’ve been going back and forth on rather I should write a blog piece about this sensitive subject. It’s been seven months since I’ve taken the courage to come out of the F.O.G ( Fear, Obligation, & Guilt) and seek the help I needed to emotionally, mentally, and spiritually heal from my ordeal of emotional abuse from my mother. Although I’ve contemplated about sharing my journey of hope and healing I am convinced that I am not alone with what I experienced and by having the courage to speak the truth about my story may some how help other women through encouragement and empowerment and reminding that woman/or women they are not alone.  

  
I have learned through my experience that the whole idealization of what a mother represents makes it extremely difficult for others to understand when you as the daughter makes the decision to place distance between the two of you. This decision erupts such strong emotions and opinions from others concerning your choice. It reminds me of what you experience when your pregnant it seems during those nine months of carrying the child people feel they can impart any and every piece of their mind concerning your pregnancy. But just like the example of the pregnancy, although their maybe commonalities, it’s still your unique journey. This same principle applies to mother and daughter relationships. Although it is hard to fathom this reality but the hard core truth is that not all mothers are capable to provide healthy love to their daughters.  

  
Emotional abuse is so psychological it is hidden deep within the fabric of the mother and daughter dynamic that it’s usually invisible to the naked eye. Which makes another reason why when you as the daughter finally have the courage to take your stand most people can not understand your decision. Emotional abuse doesn’t show visible signs of harm. But the harm is done internally to your mind and spirit; Your sense of self-worth, identity, and self-esteem is so severely damage. These damages done internally externalize themselves in many different forms throughout the daughters life. I will speak candid about my journey and share that my damage externalize through choosing bad relationships, not having any sense of direction or identity in my life, depression and anxiety, having no value to myself so putting everyone else before my needs, anger, and poor lifestyle choices. From the outside looking in everything seems fine but on the inside you the daughter are slowly dying. I think the quote from one of my favorite movies, Beyond the Lights, says it best: “It’s like I’m suffocating in the middle of the street and no one can see me dying,”. 

  
Through doing the hard work of seeking counseling, doing the homework, processing the feelings and emotions, forgiving my mother, forgiving myself, unpacking the many layers of baggage I was carrying and most importantly allowing Gods love to warm my inner spirit I began the healing process. At this point in my life I feel such a freedom I’ve never experienced before. My Creator has revealed during those hard difficult times of my life He was actually present gently wrapping me in His love. He has changed my story from shame and guilt to one of victory, transformation, liberation and unconditional love.  

 I will end this blog piece with saying it is my hopes by me sharing my story it may inspire, empower, and encourage any woman/women who may be experiencing the same journey that I’ve been through. If you don’t get anything else from this message please remember these last words: YOU ARE VALUE, YOUR VOICE MATTERS, YOU SERVE PURPOSE, YOU ARE LOVED! 


Resources for Healing 

http://emergingfrombroken.com/ 

The Invisible Scar

http://outofthefog.net/

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Empowerment, Encouragement, Inspiration, life, self growth, Uncategorized, Wellness

Noisy 

  

We live in a noisy society. Everyday we are bombarded with noise. From social media to the television, radio

and people it came seem there is never a moment of stillness.
The common American greeting is “Hi, How are you doing”, but in actuality we are so busy being “noisy” we really truly don’t take the time to be still and listen and really hear “how are you doing”. I have found more meaning to life as I now practice the art of stillness and listening. I take the time to be fully present during a conversation with a friend so that when the question is asked, “how are you doing?”, I’m still and listening to really hear what’s going on in my friend’s life.
I take the time to be still with myself and listen to my inner spirit. I practice doing self checks to assess my wellness: mind, body and spirit. These things have become necessities for my wellbeing. It is essential for me to spend daily time with my Creator because I have learned I am not capable of properly and accurately assessing my mind & spirit without the guidance of the one who holds the blue print to this mind and spirit. During these still times of listening I learn, grow and become even truer to living an authentic life.    
I encourage you today or sometime over this weekend to practice the art of stillness and listen to what your mind, body and spirit have to say to you.  

  

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Empowerment, Encouragement, Humanity, Inspiration, Motivation, Uncategorized

ROYAL

  

So often, in many cultures and societies, who your parents are and what class you were born into are deemed very important. This is a tradition that seems to be found all through history and is deeply ingrained in many places, even today. This worldly idea is so contrary to everything the gospel stands for. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior we are adopted into a Royal family. We become sons and daughters of the Living King. Knowing this truth should impact the way we look at the whole idea that what class or social structure that we or others are born into matter. Because the truth is it doesn’t matter in the eyes of God. God designed EVERYONE with purpose & value. It doesn’t matter how messy your family background may be…YOU MATTER!!!!   

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