Empowerment, Encouragement, Inspiration, Motivation

The Groundhog Days

The actor Bill Murray played in an early 90’s movie called “Groundhog Day”.  In the movie the main character, Murray, kept reliving the same day.  Every day he would wake up only to repeat the same things he did the day before.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like I’m living that movie.  Every day the same mundane task, same daily routines, same conversations, same dreams but nothing seems to be changing or evolving.  I become discourage during these “Groundhog Days” of my life. I begin to doubt if my dreams will ever come true.  I begin to struggle with my self-confidence and question “Am I really living up to my fullest potential”? It is during these times that I struggle to find the hope to keep moving forward. I struggle to stay positive minded and focused on my goals.  I struggle to keep my strength and determination up.

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I believe we all have “Groundhog Days” in our life.  I have come to understand that these days are a natural part of the journey.  You see when I think of a journey I visualize a path that has high and low valleys and in between those valleys rugged parts and smooth parts, muddy areas and grassy areas, hot desert areas and cool springs. I see all these different parts that make up the journey.  We don’t know how long we will be  in certain parts of the journey…our low valley days may be for months even years while the high valley may only last a couple of weeks.  The point I’m making is this…if during your “Groundhog Days” you continue to make the choice to awake and complete the task, even if they are the same ole same mundane task from the day before, with keeping in mind that one day this part of the journey will end and you will reach another point…if you keep doing what you’re doing…working hard towards your goals…taking the steps to change your life and live your purpose…I promise you it will pay off…although it may seem those darn “Groundhog Days” will never end…the reality is they do eventually end and when you get to the other side of it your even stronger, wiser and filled with even more determination to finish the journey you started.

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Empowerment, Encouragement, Inspiration, Spirituality

Abundant Life 

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I like order and structure. I like to group things into boxes so that I can process them.  I was pondering on this trait of mine one morning in my worship when my Creator provided me with an epiphany.  The best piece of wisdom I received from Him that morning. I learned that when you fully take hold of a true abundant life there are no boxes.  A life lived under the Creator’s idea for you is a life of authenticity and truth of self. This kind of life has NO LIMITS as to what you can do!

This made me think about God’s words in John 10:10…

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God wants me to be the best me! So many of us go through life never truly experiencing the best them.  Some haven’t even discovered their true self. They are living a life that has been defined by someone else.  I too once lived a half full life.  And when I lived that half full life I always felt like there had to be more to life than this. Then and only then when I began to explore these questions with my Creator did I begin to learn and fully grasped what my Creator wants for me.  He wants me to live a life with no boundaries of what He can and will do through me.  He wants me to live John 10:10!

I encourage you to spend time learning about you.  Do not shy away from your true self. Explore you and discover your John 10:10.

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Uncategorized

Prepare Yourself for Backlash When Going No Contact [Advice for Adult Children]

I’ve recently come “OUT OF THE FOG” I know the difficulties of finally finding the bravery to place the distance between you and a toxic parent. I understand the doubters and non-believers because everything always looked so “normal” on the outside…but somethings are not what they seem from face value…it’s only when you take the time to dig deeper that you see the hidden truths… I want others to know who may have experienced emotional abuse from their parents or a caregiver that you are NOT ALONE! Stay encourage on your path to healing and speaking your truth…it will get better after awhile.

The Invisible Scar

[via flickr user Dawn Ashley] [via flickr user Dawn Ashley] When the adult survivor of emotional child abuse decides to take a break (whether temporary or permanent) from the birth family, that decision may come to a shock to people in their social circles. From the outside of the family circle-—and even within it, at times—everything has looked perfect, tidy, and loving. To all who gaze at the birth family, the portrait of a good and loving family is all they see.

In that light, the decision to take a break may seem out of nowhere. However, that life-changing, painful decision has not come lightly. Many adult children have agonized over the decision, discussed it with mental health professionals, and also gone back to analyze all the years of small events and large ones leading to this drastic measure.

And when the adult survivor of emotional child abuse separates themselves from the birth family, they…

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Encouragement, Inspiration, Wellness

Wobble

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If you ever experienced vertigo or know someone who has you are aware how off center you feel.  Almost like a baby learning how to walk for the first time.  When a person feels wobbly their security level is low because of the uncertainty of falling.  Sometimes in life I feel wobbly.  I feel like I’m in vertigo land…dizzy, off-centered and fragile…it is times like this I lean. Now you just can’t lean anywhere or on anyone because some places or people you lean on can make matters worse and you end up feeling even more insecure than you did before.  It’s a hard life lesson I’ve had to learn…choose wisely where you lean, who you lean on and how you lean.

How You Lean

Sometimes the “how we lean” can become unhealthy even if it’s with the right person.  For example, you may have a very good trustworthy friend who you are able to share all your troubles with but you must be mindful when you are leaning too heavy on just that one person.  Our friends are not dumping grounds where we load up all our trash and then throw it at their feet.  This can be overwhelming, even for a true friend, so being mindful of “how you lean” is important.  If you find you are carrying a truck load of garbage, whether it’s due to childhood abuse, adult traumatic experiences or etc, then it may be helpful to find a Professional Counselor to become one of the persons to lean on during your “Wobbly Season”.

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Where You Lean

When it comes to the “where you lean”, I suggest places that provide a safe and trusting community.  I have found some of the following places to be great avenues for people when needing that extra support:

Church small groups

Group counseling at a support center that addresses what you are dealing with

Visiting a local gym or park for physical activity

Book Club

The goal is to locate places that will provide you with healthy company and outlets to let off steam.

Who You Lean On

My Creator is first and foremost the top “Who” on my list.  I have found Him to be the one and only who can handle my truck load of garbage.  Who also will speak to me gently and let me know if my truck load of garbage needs to be taken to a Professional Counselor for further support.  I need daily connection with Him through prayer, reading a short devotional, studying my Bible and meditation.  The other “Who” for me are a very small list consisting of only my husband, sisters, and sisterhood friends.  I suggest not having EVERYBODY on the ‘Who” list because not EVERYBODY is appropriate for this type of list.  We must be able to discern the difference between “social friendships” and “sisterhood/brotherhood friendships”.  When these two areas of friendship get blurred you can find yourself feeling alone when you need someone the most.  You want people who truly care about your well being who provide honest feedback, validation of your feelings, loyalty and emotional support.

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During the wobbly periods on your journey remember this is temporary and your balance will be restored.  Remember you are not alone…although many try to fake like they have never been wobbly…trust me there’s fellow wobblers out there…and I’m one of them! Finally but not least, most importantly reach out and lean on healthy places and people.

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