self growth, Wellness

Curve Ball


Life can be smoothly moving along and then “it” happens.  We all have different “it’s” that happen on our journey.  Those curve balls that catch us off guard and we have to regroup.  Whatever your “it” maybe these 3 following tips can help you ride the wave and safely return to the shore.

Forgo the Feelings 

It is at our curve ball moments in life when management of our emotions is crucial. If our emotions are not controlled during this time we can very well alter our destinies.  There was a story about two different men. Both were successful bankers but during the 2008 market crash ended up losing a tremendous amount of money. The first man “forwent the feelings” he acknowledged his feelings of fear, anxiety and depression.  But at the same time went through the process of “willing in his heart” that the feelings were temporary and will past. He daily reminded himself during this difficult time that those dark feelings he carried and the temptations to indulge in activities to comfort those feelings would be short-term gratification. Meanwhile, the other man, acted on every emotion he experienced.  He was not able to “forgo the feelings” and therefore ended up committing suicide. Now to some these two stories may sound extreme but the moral of the lesson still applies. When life gets tough, and believe me it will, it is at these difficult times that we must find healthy ways to process through our thoughts and feelings so that our actions lead us to safe shores not drifting on a current into the sea.

life curveballs

 Stay Connected 

We tend to isolate ourselves during hard times. We usually put distance between the ones who care the most. Although it may be challenging we must purpose in our heart to “stay connected”.  Stay connected even if it’s just a text once a week. If you are in a committed relationship block out time to talk with your partner about what’s going on allow the two of you to grow closer together through the trial not apart. Stay connected spiritually through prayer and meditation. Don’t be afraid of honesty with your Creator expressing your anger, fears and worries about the future.

Forecast the Future 

This by far has carried me through all the curve balls in my life. Forecasting the future has helped me to maintain hope of Gods purpose for me. When life throws unexpected punches that seem as if I’m down for the count it’s at these moments that I practice the art of “forecast the future”.  I will in my heart to look beyond my current circumstances and see the future God promise to me. I will in my heart to visually see the finish line. Forecasting the future is not fortune telling, neither is it denying your present situation, it’s simply examining the patterns of life and determining the future outcome from them. What I know about the patterns of life is this, my Creator has been faithful and has kept every promise He has made to me. I know that storms don’t last forever and sunny days are always ahead. I’ve learned that whether I have plenty or little I’m still okay. And finally I’ve learned that seasons do change.

moving forward


My Top 5


There comes a time in life when we feel off balance.  Where life seems to be going full speed and we can’t keep up. Usually our bodies inform us of these times when we’re in overdrive.  Working in overdrive is not our optimal self.  We tend to make hasty decisions, generally more moody and experience fatigue.  When my life becomes off center I typically refocus on these 5 simple things.

1) Spiritual wellness 

Sometimes life becomes hectic and I begin to short change my spiritual health.  When this happens to rejuvenate my spirituality I practice the following:


I purposely ensure that I block time out of my schedule for “alone time”.  Solitude allows me time to think and process what’s going on in my life.  It gives me the opportunity to reconnect with my inner self.  I spend this time communicating with my Creator and in return He replenishes my inner peace.


Nature is so therapeutic.  I see the evidence of my Creator all around me in nature. Nature is pure and serene and just by being in it I immediately feel calm and peaceful and one with God.

2) Sleep/Rest

When I’m not getting enough sleep or rest sooner or later it eventually catches up with me.  A proper amount of sleep is often taken for granted.  We instead choose to get by on 4 hours of sleep and our caffeine and energy drinks.  The National Sleep Foundation recommends that adults need 7-9 hours of sleep. I know in this day and age we live such busy lives and work crazy hours it seems almost impossible to get a proper amount of sleep.  Although the aim is 8 hrs there are always baby steps.  I suggest chopping off at least one hour of television time in the evening and committing to a shut down time of technology.  You may be surprise how these two simple steps can increase your amount of sleep.

3) Stress Management

Stress kills!  This isn’t a cliche on words but true. The American Institute of Stress states these alarming statistics. It is said that 44% of Americans feel more stressed than they did 5 years ago.  Furthermore, statistics show that 1 in 5 Americans experience extreme stress and that 60% of all human illness and disease are stress related.  Millions are daily affected by stress.  We can find tons of books and websites from the experts on ways to reduce stress.  I find implementing these simple things into our life style can help manage stress.

Don’t over stuff your plate and learn to say NO

The first is mindfulness of making sure you are not “over stuffing” your plate.  Even when it comes to positive healthy activities to much is still too much. Secondly, is practicing the art of saying “no”.  One of the greatest life lessons I’ve learn is saying no.  People will continue to ask if your answer is always yes.  I’ve learn that my no doesn’t mean what the person needs still cannot be accomplish.  There is always someone else who’s capable of doing the job.

Stay connected to your emotions 

Our emotions tell us a lot. We have a tendency to bottle up our emotions.  When our bodies become the storehouse for these emotions we begin to experience physical ailments such as headaches, body aches, digestive problems and etc.  Our emotions were never meant to be stored but expressed.   Sometimes we desensitized and our not even aware of our feelings. Knowing how you are feeling and why you’re feeling is the key to a well balance life.


4) Detox 

Holistic health is important to a vibrant life.  Usually when we become off centered in one area of our life it happens in another.  I know personally when I experience high stress I run not walk to my comfort treats (cookies, cake, ice cream, popcorn, fries). A good detox reboots and cleanses my inside which simultaneously affects my mind and spirit.

5) Do something fun!

Have fun! Do something that’s not on the agenda. Whether it’s attending a concert or visiting one of your favorite restaurants.  Catch up with a friend you usually don’t have time to see or go see that movie you wanted.  Whatever it is go have fun!

Well there you have it. My top five for rediscovering my balance.


The Radical King 

Currently reading “The Radical King” , which is edited and introduced by Cornel West.  The book is a compilation of Martin Luther King, Jr.  speeches, essays and excerpts from Books he has written. I stumbled across this quote that poignantly speaks about the moral responsibility of our nation.

The greatness of nations or civilization is measured not by military might, architectural prowess, or the number of billionaire citizens. Rather, the greatness of who and what we are consist of how we treat the least of these-the weak, the vulnerable, orphan, widow, stranger, poor, marginal, and prisoner.” Cornel West

Humanity, Social Cause

Snow Globe 


At Christmas time I love to watch the Hallmark station holiday movies.  There’s one movie in particular that is shown every holiday that I like to watch called “Snow Globe”.  The movie is about a young lady who is dissatisfied with her love life. She one day receives a package that contains a beautiful snow globe.  As she is admiring her gift she wishes her life could be perfect as the snow globe.  That night when she goes to sleep her wish becomes real.  Throughout the rest of the movie she begins to lose sight of the “real world” because she is so consumed with living in the “snow globe world”.

snow globe

I to love snow globes. The beautiful mesmerizing picture perfect scene inside the globe makes me wish I could click the back of my heels three times and be there.  Who doesn’t want to experience the snow globe living? With its nice houses and perfect manicured lawns. Unfortunately for most of the world a “snow globe” living is far beyond reach even in their dreams. For most of the world looks different in reality.  Sometimes I wonder do we choose to live snow globe lives. Where we stay neatly tucked away in our suburban life.  We enjoy the luxuries of nice community amenities, quality grocery stores, safe parks and playgrounds and schools. While the majority of the world lives in substandard living conditions, poor wages and lack of access to the resources needed to make a better life for themselves and their family. The hypnotizing power of the snow globe you can shake and stare and shake and stare for hours in oblivious. Similar affects can happen in one’s life.  Eventually I have to force myself to put down the snow globe and see what’s really going on around me.


Empowerment, poetry, self growth, Wellness

Bare Feet 

bare feet

I’m bare feet in the sun running in the grass

I’m bare feet in the sand walking along the shore

I am liberated in my bare feet I feel so whole

No pretending or covering up those toes

I don’t need a pedicure or nail color to shine

Just my plain ole bare feet will do just fine

I’m beauty and bold in my bare feet

Bare feet represent my truth represents all of me

Do you want to be bare feet with me?

Take off society’s norms and standards of living

Take off those shoes and socks of complacency

And be bare feet and free!

feeling free

self growth, Wellness

The Seven Letter Word

Forgive, a word that packs a lot of punch, why is this action word so difficult for us?  When you Google the word forgiveness you will find over thousands of articles on different peoples perspective on forgiving.  Even when you study the philosophy of religions each shares in the belief of the importance of forgiveness.  Psychologists have broken down forgiveness into two types:

Decisional Forgiveness- Where the person makes a choice to practice the outward acts of forgiveness but hasn’t made the efforts to allow themselves internally (cognition, motivation, and emotions) to forgive.

Emotional Forgiveness- This type has made a conscious decision to forgive; this forgiveness begins inward and then shows outward.

When learning about these two different distinct types of forgiveness I began to ponder which type does most of us fall under? I know personally in my life for many years I fell under the 1st type of forgiveness.  For this was an easy way to forgive.  I can pretend on the outside and play the motions while not having to address the anger, bitter and hurt feelings that still harbored inside.  I can smile and act like everything is okay when really it is not.  I was able to carry on giving “Decisional Forgiveness” until I came to a place in my journey where I no longer wanted to “play the role” but actually live my truth and totally be me.  It was at this point when I had to face my truths and address them one by one. One of those truths was that I actually had not gone through the total healing process of true forgiveness.


Forgiveness is a one man journey.  We have heard it time and time again that forgiveness isn’t about the person but you. Although this statement is true it doesn’t take away the fact that our feelings and emotions still struggle with drifting back to the person who wronged us.  If our feelings and emotions stay drifted to long that person becomes prison cells holding us captive to the past and wrong doing.  I believe this is the hardest part in the process of true forgiveness; releasing of the person who wronged us.

The releasing is a spiritual journey.  A journey into your inner spirit unpacking your hurts, unmet needs, injustices, hates, regrets, bitterness and pain and then releasing.  The releasing comes in different forms pertaining to the individual.  For some the releasing is crying, yelling, punching a bag, writing, talking to a counselor or trusted friend.  Personally I have tried many different methods in attempt to release but for me healing came through my Creator.  I released to Him through prayer and meditation, daily devotion, writing in a journal and talking with my spiritual adviser.  Once you begin releasing you begin healing.  Healing doesn’t mean you forget  neither does it mean that sometimes your heart  doesn’t drift back and you feel the pain or hurt rising up inside of you again, but the difference is, the feelings may return but their stay is short lived for you have already gone through the process of releasing.  When your body, mind and spirit speak to you and inform you that those feeling are uprising you now have the tools to go through the process of releasing.

prison cell

I’ve learned that on my journey I may have to go through the process of release on several occasions throughout my life-time.   But, as long as I’m willing to still do the releasing I will always receive my healing.  A Wise man once said, “Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”


Playground Wars!


I think back to childhood and the playground.  I recall the conversations that went something like this “I bet you I can jump higher off the monkey bars than you”.  Where in history did it begin? When did we first start with the ideology of one person being better than the other?  Who decided that one person’s life-style, class, religion or craft is of more value over another? Are we not all equals? Do we not all contribute? Why do we have a hierarchy system? Does that not polarize and cause inferiority? Does it not make “one” group think they are better than the rest and therefore deserve more of the “goods”?

fairer                                        -inequality

I’m under this radical belief that “All men are created equal”.  When you break down a human being to its smallest molecule there is no difference in identification due to race, class, life-style or religion. A Muslim and Christian have the same blood running through their veins.  A farm worker is equally important as a CEO.  The life of a Black or Brown person matters.  A Gay or Lesbian deserves equal rights as heterosexuals. Our survival depends on unity not separation. It’s the collective body working together.  The hand is equally valuable as the foot.  Is it possible for mankind to respect this value in everyone?  But yet we polarize ourselves rather than attempting to see the shared aims.  I wonder about the power of a unified voice if all humanity worked together to solve today’s most imperative social issues.  Is an international social equality and justice movement possible? We have built a society that profit from imperialism and exploitation.  Our society is built on the institutions of racism and classism.  We are filled with fear of each other due to misconceptions and lack of cultural knowledge.  We hate for no reason other than skin color or religion. What has become of society? Is there any hope?  Is anyone willing from “opposing” sides to begin conversations?  It is no secret at this point that capitalism has only benefited a small percentage of this world.  While the majority of us continue to live in various forms of oppression this is one commonality I believe all “groups” can agree.  My hope for humanity is one day that equality and justice will be restored and no one will be “better” than the other because we all will be one.