self growth, Wellness

Beautifully Flawed


I am a recovered perfectionist.  I use to take pride in my perfection as if this kept me ahead of the game. It provided me with the illusion of safety but the thing about perfection is it may appear good on the outside but inside it tears you apart.

Recently in the media there was talk about the leaked picture of Cindy Crawford supposedly the photo was non-retouched and inspired millions of people. What intrigued me about the story was the “millions” that were inspired.  It leads me to wonder just how many perfection addicts are out there in the world struggling to recover and live at peace.  It makes me question do we as a western culture embed perfection.   Everywhere I turn there seems to be emphasis on flawlessness; with over 15 million people having cosmetic plastic surgery procedures performed; iconic entertainers singing songs that say “I wake up in the morning flawless”, even in academia there’s the pressure of being perfect.  A  Psychologist once said, “Perfectionism is an emotional draining mask and underneath you feel like imposters”.  Being “authentically you” is not possible without having the boldness to go against the grain freeing yourself from the media, material things and surface images…freedom to be beautifully flawed.

The truth of the matter is we’re not perfect and we never will be.  We are flawed creatures…it’s our flaws that make us unique…our beautiful flaws are what radiate the sun in our lives.

Humanity, Spirituality

The Essence of Love

God Loves ALL

As a society I find there is a misconception about the true nature of God.  Although there maybe a number of reasons for this, I believe religion is partly to blame.  As a person who was raised in the church, from my perspective, it seemed the focus was more on teaching the constructs of the religion rather than the teachings of God’s love.  I was taught the do’s and don’ts, the formalities, and culture of my religion.  However, the depth of understanding the true nature of God was missing.  It wasn’t until I began my own quest of understanding the God I served that I was able to see Him through different lenses.  A God who immensely loves the humanity He created.  So much so that even during a period of ours world’s history He came to live among us to reveal is true character.  However, His teachings were not favored by the religious institutions.  His philosophy made them uncomfortable under their mask.  He spoke and lived truth that exposed the fallacies of the formalities that the religious carried so much pride in.


God’s heart is for humanity.  God’s love is not bound to any religious group.  His love accepts our choice rather to believe in Him or not.  He places the highest value on a life of humility, service and help to mankind.  He has a passion for social justice and equality, advocacy for the voiceless.  It’s the things this world considers little that are so big in His eyes.   This is the God I know…God of Love.

Humanity, Service, Wellness

The Beauty that Lies Beneath


As a society we tend to gravitate to the negative.  In the media and news we constantly hear stories about people who are making poor choices.  We hear about the superficial politicians, hypocritical religious leaders, murders and etc. I want to direct your attention to another group of people who usually go unnoticed; Everyday people who are doing extraordinary things.  We often think of the word extraordinary to mean something that is huge and gains a lot of attention.  However, I beg to differ, extraordinary is when you choose to step outside your comfort zone when you choose to think beyond self.  Small acts of kindness and service to others this to me is extraordinary.  The caring person in the neighborhood who always checks on the elderly, the co-workers who take the time to listen to your problems, the person in the checkout line who helps pay for someone’s food, the store clerk who always greets you with a smile and willingness to go out their way to help you, the teacher who stays late after work to help students who struggle in class, the humble sanitation worker who every morning smiles and says “have a good day, the janitors at our jobs who always seem to have wisdom nuggets to share if you take the time to listen.  Ordinary people with beauty beneath; A beauty when exposed brings warmth to the soul and light to the world. We don’t hear about these people to often but they are here on our jobs, at our churches, schools and communities.  Just ordinary people living the beauty that lies beneath…

Humanity, Service, Social Advocacy

What If?

Denial – Refusal to admit the truth or reality

Are there times in one’s life where the truth is to unbearable?  Can we grow as a society living in denial? Exposing truth is not easy.  Most notable people in our world’s history who chose to speak truth were ostracized by society, assassinated, or just thought to be to idealistic or radical in their thinking.  Imagine with me for a minute how humanity would look if we all spoke the truth about the world around us? If today we chose to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes”.  What if leaders of this nation, take for example our congress, took an extended field trip, I don’t mean a photo op visit,  around the communities they represent, if they visited the schools and talked with the people of the community.  What if they saw firsthand the 1 in 6 people who struggle with food insecurity?  What if the 1% of the people who control the wealth in the world had to drink and use the dirty water that 750 million people around this world have to use because they don’t have access to clean safe water?  What if they lived on incomes that nearly half of the world’s population lives on, incomes that continue to decrease but labor increases, incomes that barely provide people with the opportunities to move from pay check to pay check?  What if we really started a global conversation about classism and racisms and its effect?  What if we started listening to each other and viewing others from a non-judgmental position?

What if?

Empowerment, Motivation, self growth, Wellness

Mountain Climbers

If the mountain was smooth how would you climb it? It’s natural for us to want the easy route; I mean who really wants to volunteer for the difficult journeys.  But I’ve learned the best lessons come from the rough parts of the mountain.  It is in the mountain climb we experience the most tremendous growth. Some because of fear stay camped at the foot of their mountains, overwhelmed by the sight of the climb.  But I’ve realized that the better perspective of our life is at the top.  God wants to take you to greater heights.  The higher the mountain top the deeper the faith it takes to climb but the reward is so worth it.

self growth, Wellness

The Jelly Fish

The jelly fish has always been a beautiful creature to me.  The way they gracefully float in the water is mesmerizing.  However we all know the painful sting if we admire a jelly fish up close and personal.  There are some things that need to be loved from a distant.  It’s the same with some people and love ones when invited into your personal circle seem to drain the life out of you causing a painful sting like the jelly fish.  Developing boundaries is always a difficult task when it comes to love ones but is sometimes necessary for your own wellness.  Your best advocate is you!  I’ve learn when you remain silent about your feelings for the sake of others happiness you end up losing a part of yourself.  When you first began to set up boundaries you will meet resistance some may even call you selfish…but healthy boundaries is crucial to your self-care.


How do you set up healthy boundaries?

First take time to process your feelings and needs and how that looks in practical sense.  Once you have a picture on how you want this to look in your personal life write it down. Next create a list of the people/love ones who contribute to your needs and those who do not.  After doing this share your boundaries with the people/love ones you identified needing healthy space from.  Once you share your boundaries stay consistent implementing them.  It is your duty to advocate for you and say No when needed. If you don’t stay firm of your needs you can end up back where you started.

boundary wisdom

Practicing this new kind of thought that places your self-care before others can seem awkward in the beginning…but I’ve learn “You can be of no value to anyone if you’re not EVERYTHING to yourself”.

self growth, Spirituality, Wellness

Silence the Other People (S.T.O.P)

I have always been fascinated with social experiments.  Be it the psychologist in me, but human behavior is intriguing. As I’ve written before, I believe we are intelligently designed. I believe our designer (God) created us to be in spiritual union with Him. However, I find it difficult in this society at times to “Silence the Other People” so that were able to hear our “Spirit Guide”.  So much bombards us in a day, from the media to our co-workers, family and friends.  Everyone seems to have an opinion on your life and the choices you make. Although, I am not implying that it is unhealthy to have positive people who are able to provide us with guidance from time to time; what I am saying is that we must be careful that “people guided” is not louder than “spirit guided”. There are sometimes in life when the choices you make to walk in your purpose and truth others may not understand. It is at these times in one’s life that if we’re not rooted in our “spirit guide” we can become persuaded to go down a path that isn’t designed for us.

prision of others

How do you stay connected to your “spirit guide”?  I choose everyday to allow God to live through me.  Through prayer, mediation and scripture reading I feed my spirit which fuels my soul and guides my steps through out my day.  I choose to love and be non-judgmental to others point of views and life-styles.  A wise man once said “Don’t judge a person from the chapter you walked in on”.  I take this quote a step further and say not only do we judge others from just one chapter but we don’t even know the full chapter, we’ve only seen a small portion. Practicing a non-judgmental mind-set allows us to experience relationships and places that a judgmental spirit would be to fearful to go.  I am also mindful of what media feeds me.  The media has opinions on what to wear and not to wear, what the cool car is to drive, coolest music to listen to, house you should live in and even social groups you should be a part of, it’s almost courageous to say I choose a different path.   In the movie Divergent you had to fit inside a group to be part of society if you did not conform to any of the groups you were consider a threat to the state a divergent…I chose to be a divergent…having my own ideas and being uniquely me… fully embracing who I am and how I’m created.


In conclusion, sometimes tunnel vision is necessary to S.T.O.P.Tunnel vision helps to keep your eyes forward to living out your unique purpose.